Identity is one of the strongest anchors of our lives. We are often defined by what we do — teacher, parent, leader, caregiver, athlete. These titles not only shape how the world sees us but also how we see ourselves. But what happens when illness strips away the very role that once defined you? That is the question Patti Bevilacqua was forced to face, and it lies at the heart of her book, MS Doesn’t Define Me.
In her twenties, Patti was thriving. She was a physical education teacher full of energy, humor, and passion for motivating kids to embrace movement. Her identity was deeply tied to her athleticism and her role as an educator. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she woke up one morning with double vision. That frightening symptom marked the beginning of a journey that would reshape her life.
The diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis came quickly, and with it, the abrupt end of her teaching career. At just 26 years old, Patti had to step away from the job she loved. For her, it wasn’t just about losing employment. It was about losing a piece of herself, a role that gave her joy, purpose, and connection.
Grieving the Loss of a Former Self
Patti is unflinchingly honest about the grief that followed. She writes about moving back into her childhood bedroom, battling the exhaustion and isolation of a life she never asked for. She describes the invisible weight of fatigue and the pain of not being understood by those who couldn’t see her illness. Through her words, readers are reminded that grief isn’t reserved only for death — it appears whenever we lose a piece of who we thought we were.
But what makes her story compelling is that it doesn’t end in grief. Instead, it moves toward discovery. Slowly, Patti began to redefine her identity. She let go of the belief that she was only valuable if she could run, jump, and teach, and started to explore who she could be beyond the classroom.
Reframing Identity
MS Doesn’t Define Me is not just about an illness. It is about the courage to rebuild. Patti shows readers that letting go doesn’t mean giving up; it means making room for something new. She reframes her illness not as the end of her story but as the beginning of another chapter.
Her narrative is deeply relatable because it speaks to universal transitions. Illness, job loss, divorce, or unexpected detours can all strip away the identities we cling to. Patti’s story becomes a mirror, asking readers to consider: What have I lost that once defined me? What strengths remain untouched?
Her book is also an important piece of advocacy. By writing so openly about MS, she addresses misconceptions about “not looking sick” and dismantles the stigma surrounding invisible illnesses. For those living with MS, her story is validation. For caregivers and loved ones, it is an invitation to empathy.
Beyond Illness: A Message for Everyone
The beauty of Patti’s book is that it refuses to let illness have the last word. She acknowledges MS as part of her story but not the headline. Through humor, honesty, and resilience, she proves that identity is not static — it evolves, grows, and often becomes stronger in the face of adversity.
For readers, the takeaway is simple but profound: we are not defined by what we lose but by how we rise in response. Patti’s courage and openness remind us that when life forces us to let go of one identity, it also offers us the chance to discover a deeper, truer self.
MS Doesn’t Define Me is more than Patti’s memoir. It is a declaration that identity is never fixed, and that our worth cannot be diminished by circumstance. For anyone who has felt the ground shift beneath them, this book offers a way forward — honest, hopeful, and empowering.
Amazon Link: MS doesn’t define ME
